My Mummy's World

Thursday, 20 April 2017

The Pregnancy That Wasn't Meant To Be...

I'm going to start by saying its taken a lot for me to write this, I don't want any negative comments if you don't like it just move on. It's taken me almost a year to speak with my best friend about what happened and here I am sharing it with the whole world!

Babies, babies, babies... When I was younger, I always dreamed of having a large family, ok not HUGE but three or four babies. You see I'm an only child and I adore children, I didn't want my children to be alone so I knew I wanted at least two. When I found out I was pregnant young with Jack, I was shocked but knew I wanted him. Various family members (not close) and friends tried to talk me into an abortion, but for me, back then at least abortion was never something I would consider. To me I was killing that poor innocent child, of course I didn't and I have Jack to tell the tale. I knew one day I would give him a sibling and along came Isla. Again, not planned but she somehow just slotted in.

For me, at this point my family was not yet complete, in the future I hoped to have another child or two. Fast forward a few months and I wasn't feeling myself. Here is a quick note I made...

Today I found out about you, my gentle little bean inside. I've been feeling allsorts for a while now. Generally feeling bloated, I've been eating meals and getting full rather quickly. The past few days I've been feeling nausea throughout the day but especially the morning up until lunch. I've been worrying about my return to work after giving birth to your sister just 9 months ago and convinced myself it was just emotions from this. However symptoms continued and I needed to remove the thought from my head; I mean how could I be pregnant, I'm still breastfeeding your sister on demand, she feeds throughout the night and I'm yet to have a return period. Today I took that all important test, that blue cross appeared. I couldn't believe it, it was just a fluke. I went to the supermarket and brought a digital test and up popped 'Pregnant 3+'. How could this be? Currently I'm the only one who knows about you my special bean. I'm a mixture of emotions right now, I'm sorry for how I'm feeling.

Yes, I discovered yet again I had unexpectedly caught pregnant.
I had all sorts of emotions running through my head for the foreseeable. I considered abortion but those thoughts I had before came running back. I considered carrying on but how would I cope? At this point I was living as a single parent, with an almost 10 month old, and a just turned four year old. I was due to return to work just 11 days from finding out. I'd recently brought my first house so I needed to work and I just couldn't afford another child.

I kept the pregnancy to myself for almost a week, within this time I'd looked at different options and decided abortion was right for me. Despite how I feel about this I knew it was right for me at this point. I booked myself an appointment and then just had to sort childcare as I couldn't take them with me. I looked at various options but had no choice but to tell a couple of people so to sort childcare.

The day came for the appointment, 20th April, I spent the whole morning until the appointment changing my mind in my head, telling myself it was best. When I got along to the clinic, first I had a scan to determine my dates and also a brief counselling about what was involved and my final chance to back out. I knew if I left that day I would never go back again, I would struggle I'm sure of it.
I had hoped for a medical abortion however was told I would be having a surgical abortion, it seemed to be what everyone in there was having.

All of the time I was awaiting my procedure, I still was unsure if I'd made the right decision, deep down I knew it was but there was always that small part of me. It also didn't help I had friends who were trying to conceive and couldn't, they were struggling with infertility and here I was. I was called through to the room, where there were a lot of people, I laid on the bed and before I knew it I was in the recovery room. Of course for the procedure I was put to sleep, in the recovery though the staff were friendly and caring. I was given tea and biscuits and left to come around properly. 

Before I knew it I was heading home, I was quiet for the remainder of the day whilst I reflected on what had just happened. I didn't feel in pain or anything which I expected but rested for the remainder. Shortly after we got home the pains began, I was cooped up in bed doubled over in pain. I remember saying 'If I knew this pain would follow I wouldn't of had it done'. Thats the part no one tells you about. 

It wasn't long until the pain had passed, the bleeding had stopped and physically I was back to my normal self. Mentally however, I wasn't and in fact I'm still not. Everyday following I would think about it, reflect on it. I was beating myself up about it all, I still kept it to myself. As time passed I think about it less often, just before Christmas I spoke out to some people within a birth group I'm on. I expected them to judge me negatively but they were all there to offer support. I decided I possibly needed some support or some counselling, so I contacted some local places who offered abortion counselling but there were no spaces and I never managed to go. 

However, here we are one year on, exactly one year today I turned my world upside down and to me into a mess. I still have mixed emotions about what happened, I still haven't spoken to people and I still struggle daily. It's made me think two children is possibly right for us as a family, I'm lucky to have two healthy and happy children so shouldn't beat myself up. 
I hope through writing and sharing my story I can clear my mind a little and possibly help someone who may be feeling the same. It's such a taboo subject which no one likes to talk about - heck even I don't.

I know many people won't agree with the decision I had, and I think when I was younger I wouldn't have but for me it was right at the time. 

Monday, 17 April 2017

New Episodes of Kazoops on cBeebies

Both Jack and Isla enjoy cBeebies, and it tends to be on in the background all day when we are at home, although they only tend to sit down to watch their favourite shows. One show they both enjoy is Kazoops, so when we were told about new episodes starting today the children were excited. But when we were shown a preview of the first episode they were super excited. 

Kazoops is a show about the adventures of Monty and his pet pig, Jimmy Jones. In each episode Monty and Jimmy use their imaginations to find ways to look at the world around them differently.

Firstly, what amazing character names do they have? I think its such a hit with the children because of the bright colours and cheery music which instantly attracts Isla and Jack loves the story and adventure behind it all. 

The first episode, which airs today at 4.20pm on cBeebies is about Monty trying to solve a problem for his family, to which he comes up with many ideas. But can his day dreaming help to solve these real problems? Only time will tell in the episode.

If Kazoops isn't a show you've watched yet, make sure you catch up on the new episodes on cBeebies starting today at 4.20pm. 

Thursday, 13 April 2017

Easter Egg-Stravaganza at National Forest Adventure Farm

Last weekend saw the opening of the Easter Egg-Stravaganza at the National Forest Adventure Farm in Tatenhill. We have been to the adventure farm many times before, but never for one of their Easter events. There is always plenty to see and do at the farm whether or not an event is on so we were keen to find out all about the Easter excitement.

We arrived around midday on a very hot day, do you remember the heat last weekend?! I expected the farm to be really busy and although the car park was rather packed there was still plenty of room, and even when in the farm there was plenty of space to move around.

When we arrived we had a look at the tractor ride times, its something we haven't been on before despite the times we have been. On our last visit when I went with my friend, she took the boys on there but nothing Ashley and I have previously been on. However, during Easter it doesn't run from the usual location and is situated around by the walk so we made our way around there.

On our way around, we stopped in the animal barn, having a look at the chicks, bunnies and guinea pigs along with the pigs and baby goats. The guinea pigs were out with a member off staff, so Jack managed to have a little stroke of them before they went back to play.

We then headed back outside and had just missed one of the Easter tractor rides, so went a walk around the outdoor paddocks where we managed to see some lambs in the fields with their mothers. Jack, Isla and I were mesmerized by the little lambs and how amazing they learn. After walking around and admiring the lambs for ages we headed back to the tractor ride queue, it takes around 10 minutes to wait for the next one to arrive which isn't too long.

Onto the tractor we got where we seemed to head miles out, in fact it was just a short distance out of the fields into a woodland area. When we arrived we were greeted by a staff member who introduced us to the area and explained what to do before giving each of the children a sheet to stamp along the trail. By the time you reach the Easter bunny you should have 6 stamps to exchange.
Along the walk we were greeted by a little mouse and a big fox. After following the trail and collecting each of the stamps, we met with the Easter bunny who gave each of the children a chocolate treat. After this we headed back onto the Easter Eggspress and went back to the farm.

We were hoping to feed the lambs next but we had just missed it, in fact each time we missed so we never got the chance to do this BUT you can. There is a little area with set times where you can join in and feed the lambs.

So, instead we headed around to Lambing Live, there were lots of sheep awaiting to have their lambs along with some who had recently had theirs. There was one lovely mommy sheep who had that morning given birth, one at 10.30am weighing in around 5lb and another at 11.30am only weighing around 1lb, such a difference. The smallest one was struggling to feed so the staff were trying to encourage latching but it was lovely to see.

Next we headed over to the large outdoor play area, both children had loads of fun on the jumping pillows along with the other activities before we enjoyed an ice cream.

Before our journey home we headed into the potting shed where we planted a sunflower seed. The children have the opportunity to decorate a small pot before filling with soil and putting a seed in. Jack loves planting seeds and watching them grow so I'm certain he will find this fun.

Although this is all we did on our day there, theres plenty of other activities you can take part in including the outdoor activities and the indoor play area.

If you are looking for a fun activity this Easter with the kids, the National Forest Adventure Farm is a great day out. Rain or Shine there is plenty to do and enjoy, even for a full day.

Please Note: We were given free entry in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. 

Friday, 7 April 2017

Fisher Price new Little Monsters Range | A Review

Fisher Price is a brand that you are sure to know about, they are always adding exciting collections into the range, and the latest is that of the Little Monsters range. When we were given the opportunity to review them I thought they would go down well with Isla, what I didn't know is the hit they would be with Jack too. 

The new monsters range has 3 products within each aimed at children 6+ months and all of which are reasonably priced. They include the Fun Feelings Monster, Hungry Monster Maze and Press n' Go Monster Vehicles. 

First up is the Fun Feelings Monster; this is a small bright monster which is eye catching and grabs your child's attention. It has a large roller face which has 3 different feelings: happy, sad and surprised. As you roll the face to change the expression a fun sound reinforces the emotion. Isla loved rolling the face to hear the different sounds which she could easily achieve. The toy comes with batteries included however, there is no volume control.

The Fun Feelings Monster has an RRP of £14.99

Next is the Hungry Monster Maze, this was a hit with both of the children. Again a bright, colourful toy which is a perfect size. It comes with six brightly coloured discs which you feed to the monster, it then makes a range of different tunes. There are two different slots in which you can place the discs through and then watch them travel through the maze and come out the end. The discs are a good size and easy to pick up, especially with small chunky fingers as its aged from 6+ months. It also has light up eyes again to catch the attention of little ones. 

The Hungry Monster Maze has an RRP of £19.99

Finally, its the Press n' Go Monster Vehicles, these come in different colours, to which we had the green monster. Again, a perfect sized for even the smallest of hands, Isla found it easy to press down to make the vehicle go. You simply press down the head and watch him go along the floor. We have laminate downstairs and found it went a lot quicker on here then it did on the carpet. 

The Press n' Go Monster Vehicles have an RRP of £12.99

I feel that all of these toys are worth the money, even for those slightly older children like Isla. 

Please Note: I received these products in exchange for an honest and open review. All words and opinions are my own.

Thursday, 6 April 2017

Adventures at Go Ape and Win a voucher

Whenever we visit the forest for 'Gruffalo Land' which to you and I is the Gruffalo trail, we always follow the Go Ape trail. Last time we went we caught the end of the Segway adventure which was beginning. 

Along the walks is also the Go Ape Treetop Adventure Trail, Jack is always amused by what is going on and the little dare devil in him is desperate for a try on the different activities. There is a junior course which is for children aged 6-12 or at least 1 metre tall, so I may look at taking him when the weather improves slightly. Then of course, there is the Treetop Adventure, Segways and Ziptrekking adventures. 

Image Credit - Go Ape.
Eileen from ET Speaks from Home, took her family along for an adventure at Go Ape in Cannock, and it looked like such fun. Kel from Writings, Ramblings and Reviews has also been along at a different location for a hen day, even though it was raining on their day there, plenty of fun was still had. Another fun adventure comes from The Soup Dragon Says, their review of the junior adventure at Crawley shows the excitement in which you can have from an adventure. 

There is currently a competition running over on Artificial Grass Direct to win a £150 voucher to use at any of the Go Ape locations. The voucher entitles the winner to use on any activity either adults or children. You can find the competition here, and fingers crossed for you. The competition is running until May 28th 2017, so plenty of chance to enter and perfect timing for the summer holidays. 

Post in collaboration with Artificial Grass Direct. 

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Disney On Ice - 100 Years Of Magic is back

You cannot beat a bit of Disney, there is something for all to enjoy! Throw in some ice skating and you get Disney on Ice which is super exciting. We have been along to a couple of the Disney on Ice shows, once when I was pregnant with Isla and again when she wasn't very old. Each visit we have never failed to be impressed by the spectacular performance. 

On the 12th April, Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic, comes to Birmingham. This is the Ultimate Disney experience featuring more than 50 unforgettable Disney stars from Pinocchio to Frozen to Lion King. The Mouse-ter of ceremonies if of course Mickey Mouse along with his much loved friends Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy. 

Mouse-ter of Ceremonies Mickey Mouse, sweetheart Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy take to the ice with their friends from beloved Disney movies that span decades from Pinocchio to Frozen. Travel to the heart of Africa with Disney’s The Lion King, come along for an adventure in friendship with the gang from Disney•Pixar’s Toy Story and watch in amazement as Belle breaks the Beast’s curse in the tale of Beauty and the Beast.

Guests will also enjoy a special appearance by royal sisters Anna and Elsa from the number-one animated feature film of all time, Disney’s Frozen. Enter the kingdom of Arendelle and journey up the North Mountain with hilarious snowman Olaf and rugged mountain – man Kristoff as they help the sisters discover that true love conquers all.

“This particular production is by far the largest Disney On Ice show we currently have touring bringing together everyone’s favourite Disney characters from Snow White, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse to Elsa and Anna,” said Producer Nicole Feld.“

The show is set to see audiences singing along to their favourite Disney hits and will hopefully leave all dancing in their seats and humming the tunes all the way home, with over 30 of your favourite Disney show tunes it will be rather impossible not to love I’m sure.

We are heading along to the show, and we are all excited to see what magic it brings. I'm sure we will all be singing and dancing along and enjoying ourselves. You are able to check and book tickets on Disney On Ice.

Monday, 3 April 2017

Little Angels Comfort and Protect Nappies | A Review

You may remember last year I went down to London, and had an amazing day with Little Angels learning about their nappies and everything behind them. I used their nappies for a while when Jack was younger, and occasionally used in rotation when Isla was younger until last year. After the event and trying some of the nappies, I was pretty much converted, apart from the odd pack I pick up from work when we are running low. 

However, this year has seen another rebrand for Little Angels and this time saw the launch of a brand new nappy to the range, the Comfort and Protect. They aim to deliver up to 12-hours of dryness with a secure flexi-fit,meaning no more poo-namis - we've all experienced them. We have been sent along a pack to try out and I was keen to test out all these features they are using as their selling points. 

First up is the nappies claim to provide feather-like softness for your child's delicate skin, both on the inside and out the nappies appear really soft. Which is certainly a big plus here, you don't want something rough on your child at the best of times especially a nappy. These Comfort and Protect also feature the handy size indicator to show when your little one is growing out of the nappy size and into the next. The tabs should fasten within the coloured area when fitting well, but when outgrowing will move into the white area surrounding. 

They also feature gentle elasticated leg cuffs and an elasticated back preventing those poo-namis. Now, like with Jack - Islas poos are pretty much always explosive, ahh the vests I've lost in the process, but luckily with these, we've had nothing up her back, nothing down the legs so I'd say they work in that respect. 

These nappies pride themselves on providing up to 12 hours of dryness with thanks to the gel beads they use absorbing up to 30 times their own weight. Now in the day, we change Islas nappy a lot more frequent but night time, its on for around 12 hours, depending how long she sleeps. I tend to put them to bed around 7pm, so she is changed just before this and wakes just before 7am the following morning. We have been really lucky in the fact that the nappies are always dry the following morning and don't even look full or bulky due to the beads. I do hate that saggy nappy look.

 As you can expect from ASDA the prices are reasonable, the Comfort and Protect range is available in sizes 3, 4, 4+, 5, 5+, 6 and 6+ and are priced from £3.50 per pack. I will certainly be continuing to use the nappies within the future as I've found them to be perfect for Isla, and much more kinder on my pocket too.

Please Note: We were provided with a pack a nappies for the purpose of this review, however all words and opinions are my own and not influenced in any way.