My Mummy's World : Why do some Dads feel like they shouldn't help?

Saturday, 19 January 2013

Why do some Dads feel like they shouldn't help?

Why do some Dad's feel that it isn't there responsibilty to help with their child?
Before I start this post; I will add that not all dad's are this way. Maybe you don't know a man like this but I seem to know several. Therefore I wanted to write this post so other parent's don't feel like they are on their own.
When I first had Jack, my partner couldn't bond with Jack. He would still help me out but only if I asked for it; which as a new mum I didn't want to do. This then caused a lot of strain between Ashley and myself; and also the relationship with Jack. I am however happy to say this situation is now a lot better; not as much as I would like it to be but it is getting there.
On the other hand, my best friend had her son 12 weeks before I had Jack. From the start her partner would help with feeds, changing and also bathing baby. Now, he won't help at all, yesterday I had a text from her saying 'S woke me up this morning just to let me know M had pooped and it was leaking.' This in return annoyed her, and I got wound up when she told me although its not my situation to be in. My friend was catching up on much needed sleep when her partner was awake, yet he refused to change both their child's nappy.
I then read from another friend that her partner won't help with nothing anymore.
It just feels to me that some father's think it is a mothers job to look after the children and raise them, especially those who are Stay At Home Mums (SAHM's).
This in turn makes me wonder, how is a child meant to bond with their father? How does this show a fathers love for the child?
I know that in the world there are some great fathers, hopefully more great than the bad.


  1. Luckily I have a fella who help even though I'm a SAHM he is quite willing to help when he's not at work! I do know a few men who are like that but yes makes me wonder how they are meant to bond with the child...

    1. I'm lucky my OH finally managed to bond, took a while. But I know and hear of so many people who don't help out. :(