Returning to Work | Thoughts and Feelings

Thursday, 18 February 2016
I'm not officially due back to work until the end of June, Isla's first birthday in fact, however my pay will run out at the end of March. So now sees me start to plan and think about the return. 

When pregnant with Jack I had hoped to not have to return to work and hoped to open my own shop, reality set in and I returned part-time. I then changed jobs in July 2014 and returned to work full time. I then unexpectedly discovered I was pregnant and now we are here. 

I had hopes that I wouldn't have to return to work, I wanted to continue to work from home, writing my blog and doing some freelance work. 
I enjoy being a mum who can take my child to school, who can collect my child after school and hear any comments in which the teachers make. I enjoy having the time to take my children on an afternoon stroll to the park and having picnics. 

In reality I never got around to this, with moving house, trying to sort everything and look after a newborn life just took a hold. So now the time has come to return to work and I can't help but feel dissapointed in myself; dissapointed I don't get to be the stay at home mum, dissapointed I will miss taking and collecting Jack from school. Looking around for childcare, someone who could collect Jack from school more so has been a minefield. There doesn't seem to be anyone around for this. Then there is the fact no-one from my work has been in touch with me the whole time I've been on maternity leave.
I'm yet to 100% decide the days in which I'm returning to work and to make final decisions on childcare, but I'm hoping I will have the flexibility to return part time. I'm hoping this will provide enough money just to cover my bills and mortgage so that I do not have to miss out on lots of opportunities with the children and miss them growing up. 

I'm just hoping Isla will take to nursery OK; she's never been away from me and won't even settle for anybody else so it will be a struggle. 

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